Bang: Memoirs of a Relationship Assassin by David Wailing

Author:David Wailing [Wailing, David]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Detective, Heart, Cheating, Humour, Infidelity, Mystery, Honeytrap, Seduction, Killer, Romance, Secret lives, Investigate, Conspiracy, Suspense, Affairs, Lies and secrets, Assassin, Modern relationships, Intrigue
Publisher: David Wailing
Published: 2011-12-18T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 14

Under The Skin

I spent the rest of the day with Becky, trying to forget the whole thing.

Which was very easy, actually. We had a lot of laughs, that Sunday. Toast crumbs in bed. Conversations in the shower. Old photo albums. Spending half an hour saying goodbye, up against the wall by the front door.

But after I’d left her flat, it all came creeping back like a bogeyman from under the bed. Should have been thinking about the case. Should have paid more attention to Barry. Should have made notes – buy yourself a Blackberry tomorrow, Scott. What a waste of a day!

Oh sod off, I told myself. Today’s been great, don’t spoil it. You can’t take the case anyway, it breaks the Rules, so don’t worry about it.

Bet Emma’s already made a start. She’ll have put the day to good use. Probably halfway done by now.

So? So? So what?

I’m just saying. That’s all.

For most of Monday, I was up in the air. Just hanging there, like a dog fart. Walking in circles. Thinking in circles. Barry’s voice looped through my head for the entire day while I made my very own crop circle in the living room carpet, walking round and round.

It was crazy, it had to be a joke. Meg and Dec? Don’t make me laugh! They were way too big. They were media celebrities, bigger than anything, anyone, I’d ever done before. Wouldn’t know where to start. Did I even want to start?

Becky texted me twenty-six times. Just silly stuff, lots of xxx’s, lots of new nicknames following our weekend. I smiled with relief every time my mobile bleeped. Distractions. She asked if she should let the girls in the office know.

About what?

About us.

I got goosebumps over that. I’d never been an ‘us’ before. God, that girl was into me. And I was into her, I really was, but I just couldn’t relax and enjoy the feeling, with all the other things in my head.

I thought of Barry. I thought of Emma. I thought of Megan. I thought of Becky. I thought of myself. Like a plane in a holding pattern above the airport, I just circled the problems. Round and round. Head full of pissed-off passengers, muttering to themselves, just wanting to touch down and get out. I needed terra firma. I needed to know where I stood. But my landing gear wasn’t budging. And my compass was damaged. I just didn’t know which direction to take. Have I sucked the life out of that metaphor yet?

“You can’t take the case,” I said aloud to myself. “Rule One. That’s that.” I fired up the pinball machine, as if now free to play it.

“SE-CRET A-GENT!”

Blam blam blam blam! Dum-da-da-daahhhmmmmm!

I pulled back the plunger, but then just stood there, staring at the big target sight up there on the backglass. ‘Secret Agent’.

“Emma will go for it,” I muttered. Of course she would – no stupid Rules stopping her. Her target sight was already fixed on the prize, whereas I was fart-arsing around in my flat like an…

Say it.

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